Positive Adoption Language

"The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:4

It is natural to have questions about adoption.  But, there is a good way to ask a question and a bad way.  I have already heard, “What is wrong with her?”  What? I understand what you are trying to ask, but there has to be a better way to ask it.  I graciously replied.  

I have been reading a lot about positive adoption language, and questions not to ask adoptive parents. I linked to a couple good articles below. Some of the questions I read that parents have been asked just floor me.  Would someone really ask that?  I guess they do.  We have been trying to prepare ourselves with gracious responses.

I want to be open and share with others.  I have wanted to be open this whole journey for two reasons; 1. so God can get the glory in this beautiful story. 2. perhaps God would use our journey to encourage others in a journey of their own.  


Here are some resources for further reading. 

Questions From Strangers, A Moms Response :  from the blog of No Hands But Ours.  I do appreciate the articles and insight of the families who post to this adoption advocacy site.  "Getting a thicker layer of skin has been a must but also learning to be empathetic to those who just have questions and truly want to know more about adoption has had to find a place in our hearts also."

Dear Random Shopper in the Check-out Line :   Another one from No Hands But Ours.  "Please understand if I correct some of the terms and/or phrases you use. I am not trying to hurt your feelings, and I really do know that your questions are well meaning. But even so, words can be offensive and hurtful, and this is a wonderful opportunity to help us all use better terms and phrases that help children grow in a healthier and more considerate community.

I am their real mom.

They really are brother and sister."